Hannelore...thanks for your advice, too. That's why I posted here...I knew all of you would offer me sound advice.

Larry does not want his son to move in with us because he feels, from past experience, that LW would not change. I disagree about him being my step-son and it being harder because of that. I am of the same philosophy concerning coming home if any of them fall on hard times because of no fault of their own. In fact, LW moved in with us for 2-3 weeks before he went into the Navy and that was just fine. But, we knew that he had a goal and would be moving on. This time is different. He knows he's getting out in May and hasn't done anything in the last year to prepare for it. And he's spending every penny he makes on another hobby instead of spending it towards a vehicle that he already has and could have had repaired and working by now. That's why my husband is so frustrated with him...no common sense and despite the fact that he's talked to him about LW's need to reset his priorities in where his money goes, nothing's changed.

When LW and his Mom lived together and LW bought his first home...he blamed his Mom for not paying the bills when she said she would...despite the fact that his name was on the mortgage and his name was on the utilities. Instead of him coming behind her and checking or doing it himself, he put it out of his mind and spent his money on computer games and expensive exotic handled knives and expensive smoking pipes and expensive colognes and shaving equipment and bought another truck (the one sitting on our property now)...and (do you get my drift?). Then he blamed it on his Mother for losing everything. And his Mother is the same way...instead of paying her credit cards and taking care of her bills, she spent her money in the like manner. So together they functioned well dysfunctionally. When her son lost his home his Mother (50years of age) forced herself onto her daughter (30 years of age) and they continue with the bad spending habits...that's why they live in a one-bedroom apartment. LW's mom keeps saying she's going to move out but she will never save enough money. This is LW's mindset and who he gets it from and my husband believes he's never going to get his son to see reason.
Thanks everyone for the advice...I truly appreciate all of it. Bless you.