Bonnie, it's happened here in my home but I DO believe I've gotten my message across. I used to feel blamed for most everything and rather than react in a good way, I'd just cry. A few weeks ago we finally had it out. We've had snowstorms...one right after another. One night he had to pull our classic car out of the garage and park it temporarily so he could get the plow truck in to fix a malfunction. It was cold, we were already stressed but had had a fun afternoon and evening so far working together. He got in the Hawk and backed in around the corner next to a waiting old relic of a VW (waiting for restoration, that is) and he hit the VW with the rear bumper. Nothing happened to the Hawk, thankfully , but the VW's rear quarter panel got quite a dent. Guess what? It was MY fault because I didn't use common sense and know he couldn't see where he was going...and get behind the car and direct him! Rather than simply asking, because I didn't KNOW, he went into the blame game. Yeah, we were already stressed. I went straight into the house without a word. Next thing I know he came in and put his arm around me making all nice. What a greeted him with was a non-tearful, nice but very firm lecture on how I would not be blamed for another thing here because it hurts, it's disrespectful and it's time he owned up for his own mistakes. Since then, he's even brought it up about how it's unfair that he does that and we've analyzed it a bit but he's trying. It was so bad that every time it happened I'd come into the house and plot my way out of this whole marriage. The rest of it is very improved and most of the time we're happy, have great communication and a lot of fun together. But when he gets stressed (which has been a lot since about September...lots of things going wrong, etc.)he would get very sarcastic and blame shift. If he even comes close again I won't hesitate to remind him. I cannot live like that. It was making me a nervous, jumpy person. Sometimes we have to get very real with men and shake them up a little for them to get a clear message.