Princess, I appreciate what you've said. I have not even seriously thought of "can I fix him." I probably should have but by nature I will give and give and I love caring for people's needs. Sometimes I've worn myself out doing it. I did this same thing for my former husband. It came as second nature. No one ever had to suggest it. The other piece to the puzzle is that my former husband was a very conservative and somewhat legalistic Baptist pastor. You know, women should submit, etc. I don't think it played into too much of what I did because I was always like that. For awhile I drove my present hubby off the wall with my taking care of him. So I eased back a bit. He kept letting me know that he was capable and I shouldn't do those things. Over time, he's gotten used to the fact that I want to naturally give. For instance, he spent hours on our roof on Sunday shoveling 2 feet of snow off it. I knew, at his age (lol) he was really worn out afterwards. I gave him a foot massage. The thing is I've had other women tell me I was sick for doing these things. I don't think so. It gives me great pleasure to do for others. But the point of trying to fix someone is very well taken. Thanks, maybe I need to hear this. He had a horrible childhood and a very bad first marriage. I just think he deserves a little TLC.