I keep thinking this over and groping for an answer of some sort only the answers don't come. Of course, the most important thing is the care and love of the child; period...and you have already stated this and know it well. You and your husband have really earned some stars for your crown. I admire you so.

I have never felt that there were choices involved here. But that is just my opinion. To me, the day she gave birth, the choice was made. That's here nor there NOW. What you have given that child, the foundation you've laid will, as MA said, give her the grounding she may need.

Since you said that the Mom was never really a contender, I'm wondering if she has been comtemplating divorce all along? She wanted to distance herself from your son? Do you see all the thoughts that are running through my mind?

But ultimately, my question is the same as someone else said...could your son take Anaiya and raise her himself with you and Dad in the wings?

I know your heart is aching...and I so hope I haven't added to your sorrow. I didn't mean to and it wasn't my intent. The question at hand is the child, not what the Mom should or should not have done. That's immaterial.

And too, I think ultimately the answer is going to be what the two of them, Mom and Dad, decide it will be. You can only give encouragement to your son and some sage wisdom and advice when asked. I'm with everyone else...I wish we could wisk you all away to our homes and take turns pampering you all! You all so deserve it. What good hearts you have! My prayers go with you.