Edelweiss, please excuse me, yet I fell that your DIL is being selfish. I firmly believe that a child learns about how to treat and be treated by the opposite sex from their parents, most specifically the father. A young child watchs how a father treats their mother; thus, a young girl will learn what to expect from a man, and likewise a young boy will learn how to treat a woman when they become adults. Here, with an AWOL mother a young girl may realize that the mother is more important than the child. I'm thankful for her wonderful grandparents!