I had my grandbeauty last week -- from Thursday evening til Monday evening and when I walked back into my home Tuesday afternoon after work I walked around for about 5 min and then just sat down and started to cry. I was so heartbroken and I wasnt sure why.

Then I realized how much I missed taking care of Robert. He was so like Belle - so innocent and trusting -- looking to me to protect him and help him through the madness of it all. He needed me, unlike my parents or husband or even my other son. And I needed him.

So I called my daughter in law and told her I wanted Belle back -- and she said SORRY -- CANT DO IT !! can you believe that

and now we have a hurricane heading for us -- and because I live in a modular home -- I have to get out. I am so torn about leaving all Rob's stuff here -- the pictures and things he made and drew and just 23 yrs of memories. Since we're going to my parents house -- along with my bird and 2 dogs and hubby's Harley Davidson -- how can I take all these things with me too

and when I started this I had a point sorry --I'm just really tired right now -- and trying not to get too upset about this storm (I went thru a hurricane when I was 7 and it took the roof off our house - needless to say I dont like the wind)

anyway -- I'm not sure anyone can really be maudlin about memories of a loved one -- and i think we all need a pity party every now and then -- it gives us strength to keep on keeping on