I'm not sure there's an answer to the question...it just seems to be a rhetorical question to me. Each person is different, has different levels of "stamina" I suppose.

Chatty, that is so true about forgiving and never forgetting. Heck if I ever forgot what my cheating ex put me through emotionally and financially, I would be downright stupid I think. I put up with probably the last 4-5 years of my marriage dealing with someone who was lying and cheating as well as drinking heavily and most likely getting involved with drugs (the gal he got involved with WAS busted on drug theft felonies). Fortunately, the bust happened AFTER we divorced so I didn't have to put up with any of the outfall from THAT episode. My ex just turned out to be the male equivalent of a drama queen.

I learned some lessons, and whilst I don't hold that against any other man, I primarily learned about myself during that experience. Yes, the fear of making it alone was there--INITIALLY. Heck, I was married 24 years and married young. But I sucked it up, realized I had a stable career, some brains, some education, and knew my kids weren't raised to either lie or cheat OR put up with any kind of abuse...verbal, mental, emotional, or physical. And I DO consider anyone who lies or cheats or steals as being abusive--they cause you to question your own sanity when they deny the truth. Kick those buttheads to the curb is what I say!