All good points. But when we marry, I truly believe that for the most part, we do make the best decisions we can at that time, using the information we have. I was married for a very long time (24 years). How could I have looked into the future to see that my ex was going to have what looked like a huge midlife crisis, complete with addictions and affairs and some really bizarre behavior?

You can't foresee the future. And when it comes down to it, I probably made a "good" decision when I married. He was normal, had a decent family (I loved 'em...and still in contact with some of them). You can never tell what you will encounter in this life, nor can we ever tell ourselves that something will remain. I just know I wasn't one of those women who could have remained in a marriage that was hit hard by addictions and adultery. It just wasn't in me.

Katebcca, your parents decided to stay together for whatever reasons they had. I think my parents were sort of in the same boat, only not just as long. My dad passed away at a young age (60). I do know there was no intimacy there for a long time though. I'm not sure if that was a good situation or a bad situation for us kids as we were growing up. There certainly wasn't a lot of affection between my mom and dad. I know they each loved us but I also don't know if they were great role models for marriage.

Too I often have wondered how in the heck do people stay in long marriages? We don't get an owner's manual lol when we get married. Where does one get those "skills" to navigate those times when it's downright HARD to stay---when your husband cheats, when there are financially rough times, when one spouse is very ill? I just see a lot of the "me me me me" thought going on when people consider divorce. Yes, we need to consider our well-being, but I've also read some articles where if couples hang in there, they're happier five years later anyway. Too I wondered sometimes if today folks understand the idea of commitment? I felt bad about getting divorced because my word meant something to me -- "to death do us part." I sometimes wonder with the high divorce rate in this country if we really know how to be married.