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* Coach husband to stand up for you in the story telling sessions.



Thanks Gims for your thoughts and concrete suggestions. I started with your first suggestion. Had another long talk with hubby. Today at lunch, everyone was commenting on my delicious meatloaf. So I mentioned that it came from my Dad's "famous" recipe for BBQ hamburgers. Immediately the conversation switched to something and somebody totally unrelated. Hubby CAUGHT IT! And when he had the chance, he again complimented me on the meatloaf, and then raved about my Dad's BBQ hamburgers. I responded by thanking him (right there at the table) for remembering my Dad like that. I told all of them that when people die, the only way they live on is through our memories, and if we no longer have anyone who will listen and care about those memories, it's as if that person dies all over again.

Tonight at supper, hubby was working, so it was just the in-laws and myself. They actually asked me questions about Mom and Dad, and it was a very pleasant, give-and-take dialogue, weaving in stories about their loved ones with relevant stories about my loved ones.

I think that now that there's an awareness of how important it is to keep those memories alive, there will be more care shown when we share those little stories from my side of the family. I still don't expect - or want to - be able to share them in the larger family gatherings, but that's okay. These particular in-laws are my closest and dearest and are ones that I needed "on my side".
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When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)