I believe that wounds that affect us in core decisions are very difficult to heal as we ourselves replay them in our future dealings with others.
Self fufilling prophacy.
But when balanced say with a good teacher minister or other family we visit we dialogue internaly and may even go on to have well chosen values.
By core decisions I mean kindness..regard.. respect and love for others.
eg..my aunt giving me underwear wheras she gave my cousins trinkets was balanced by another aunt who gave me books (yet knitted items as well throughout the year.and made me feel special involving me in style and colour.)She must have realised what the other aunt was doing.Remember that at family gift sharing we children were opening gifts together.
In turn I treat children sensitivly and did so intuitivly remembering my own childhood.A balanced decision .
My issue is trivial compared to abuse and lack ...but I share it as an example.

As a foot note This first aunt spent a lot of her childhood with her own Granmother. due to the aging Granmother needing both company and a young abled bodied helper.running for shopping and almost a servant.She replayed her own issues perhaps unwittingly.
When I realised this (in maturity)i felt compassion for her.as see it as I do re.those children who are carers today.This was a Eureka moment fo me.
Imagine a pendulum which swings between the painful issues and contentment and perhaps between is a middle road which is where thrive.
My belief is that it takes a village to rear a child.Meaning all early experience is valid and important.So in my case there were many who shaped me and still do.
Mountain ash