Vi, thanks for the update. I was moved to tears. Please take the time to read that book. You will feel blessed and continue to be that blessing/light to your extended family. You are doing an awesome job. I'm praying for your role as light!

Everyone feels differently about death. I believe if we are comforatble with the afterlife/heaven, then dying is a beautiful event. We hurt because we are no longer going to be with the one we love, but we must celebrate for the one who is finally crossing over. It is their final gift.

Writergirl, your post also brought me to tears. So many of your experiences with your mom were similar to mine. I can't believe it. Mom died of lung cancer. I had never witnessed someone basically get in bed and stay there until they died. Now I know why the hospice nurses were invaluable. They'd seen it over and over again. I witnessed it once and learned so much.

You mentioned your mom living longer than expected. So did Mom. My birthday is the 12th of March and I really thought she was going to die that day because the nurses said she only had a teeny space left in one lung. They were loaded with fluid. Mom died on St. Patrick's Day, the 17th!

That morning the hospice nurse took all of aside and said, "You have to leave your Mom alone. Don't talk to her. Don't touch her. Just go in the room, put the dropper of medicine in the side of her mouth and leave".

Dad and all five of Mom's children camped out at their home for days before she died. We took turns through the night tending to her. The nurse said it was time to leave her alone and let her die. She believed we were distracting her with our words and strokes. It sounds terrible, but she was right. ENOUGH! Mom knew we loved her, thought she was an awesome mom, and knew she was going to heaven. It was time.

For the rest of that day we did as the nurse said. We went in, put the dropper of morphine in her mouth, said nothing, and left often with tears streaming. It didn't feel right.

After eating our corned beef and cabbage in the other room (we're Irish, Mom's mother died on Valentine's Day, and her sister on the Fourth of July) Mom died. It was my turn to do the morphine. I went in and there was total silence. I immediately ran to the other room to get Dad and tell the others. No one believed me. Dad went in, stayed a bit of time, then came to tell us Mom's life on earth was over.

We all took our turns saying our private farewells. Then we cleaned her up, powdered and pampered her for the last time. We dressed her in our favorite lavendar pajamas, then hovered in another room when the men from the funeral home came to take her away. Dad didn't want us to witness that. So sweet!