Vi,
I too remember the hours I spent shortly after Daddy died reflecting on the past years of caregiving, my thoughts on where he was, what he was doing, thinking, etc. It was a form of healing too I suppose. I also chose that time to talk to Daddy and basically hand him my grief and ask him for help in dealing with his absence.

I still talk to Daddy almost daily. I've stopped asking him however, to help me find ways to deal with my grief. Seems that time has done that. I think the healing process is within us all, and somewhat natural. We get angry, we get sad, depressed, maybe angry again...I don't know the stages exactly and won't insult you by suggesting you are in one.

I only know that in my heart I feel that thinking about them, wondering what they are doing, how happy they must be, and if they can see or hear me, does wonders for me in coping.

I so hope that you, Dan, and Anita's children can always have a place inside to go to, and wonder.

JJ