Vi,
It appears that you are dealing with the loss of your sister in a very healthy way. I'm sure you are grieving, but even the grief is beautiful.

I am reminded of a friend whose husband died suddenly. She seemed to deal with it very well. Not that she didn't grieve, she did, but she grieved in a very loving and beautiful way.

When I spoke to her about it, she told me that she was able to deal with the grief because it was not complicated by regret. She discussed some of the loving and joyful events of their life together and how remembering those times helped her deal with the grief knowing she had nothing to regret.

I thought that was so very wise of her and it inspires me still to try to treat people dear to me in such a way as to have nothing to regret should I lose them suddenly.

It helped me so much as I grieved for my Daddy that I spent time having fun with him especially toward what turned out to be the end of his life. Now I have those joyful memories to comfort me as I am sure they are comforting him in heaven.
It must be the same with your sister.
smile