He walks alone now.

He returned to the mall where he and Anita walked before she became too sick - morning walks before the stores opened. He walks with, yet not with, the others who also come to stave off infirmity. After the walks he stops for breakfast . . . so he won't have to cook. He did so much of that for her, for her special needs. He doesn't cook for himself much now. His former daughter-in-law, a gourmet cook, brings dinners and treats.

He returns to an empty house. He senses Anita with him. Tears touch his eyes when he talks about it. His pain is evident, but he does not display it. He is a man who has always kept this kind of thing to himself. His children and grandchildren invite him over, to help keep him busy, to show their love, to comfort themselves. But he is alone when he goes home.

He keeps the house very clean, because she did. He does many things because she did, because they did them together. His son stops by mornings sometimes to spend time with him, goes with him to seek out areas for the fall hunting season. His daughter and son-in-law search for property with him, so he can purchase land for a permanent camping site. Overcrowding is such a problem; it is hard to find a place these days. He and Anita and the family loved to camp - to enjoy nature and each other. Soon he, his daughter and son-in-law will take the trailer to the ocean and spend time beachcombing, like Anita loved to do.

Yes, Dan walks alone now. And it is hard to see him in such pain.

Thank you Dotsie and Lionspaaw for your words and the love behind them.