Lionspaw, thank you for the affirmations. I agree with all that you said about the need to move on from sources and places of pain. Those who hurt us need not have power over us anymore. I, too, allowed those things and persons who had caused me pain and despair to control me. And finally, I thought, I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm sick of being miserable. I can spend the rest of my life being miserable, or I can find ways to climb out of the toilet I'm living in. Yes, it is as simple as that - simple but not necessarily easy.

Smile, I love "Being nice is not always being kind." I never heard it said that way before, but it is true. Sometimes being nice is just good manners, when the person is thinking or implying something else. Being kind sometimes doesn't always sound kind. Sometimes a lie is required if one is being "nice." Being kind never requires a lie. In the long run lies are counterproductive to the liar and the liee.

During my search for ways out of my toilet I explored many theologies. In each I studied, there was validity, underlying truths, beauty. The followers, of Buddha, Krishna, Jesus, Mohamed and so many other wise ones, have found what they need in these men's teachings. There's a wonderful book by Huston Smith, The World's Religions. It is very enlightening. He brings respect and honor to the subject. His parents were Methodist missionaries. Each seeker finds enlightenment in the ways that are right for her/his heart.

There is oh so much validity in the words of a writer called Shakespeare - This above all: to thine own self be true.

There is beauty in each of us already, waiting for us to acknowledge it. It is unnecessary to look to anyone else. The answers we seek are not in the mountains; they are not in the desert; they are not at the ocean; they are not in a building. We are each connected to All-That-Is - the essence of the Universe - what some call God. There are so many paths winding their way to this place that is not a place at all. It is within. To look externally is to miss a profound blessing. All that we need is available to us right here, right now in a way/ways that are right for each of us. My way doesn't have to be the same as your way, for it to be right for me. Your way doesn't have to be the same as my way, for it to be right for you. Respecting, allowing for the difference, is the key to peace. It has always been so. And if you remember this was my reason for starting this thread in the first place - that my sister had the right to choose her own way of dying, and we have the right to choose our own way of living. This is a wonderful thing.

Much love, much kindness,
Vi