JJ - I think you put that perfectly - things soften with time --

Vi - if you could find some support sites for your mom on the net -- maybe she would start to get interested in her computer. It is very frustrating to try to help someone when they don't seem to accept the help -- but you may be surprised what she does when no one is around -- especially if she has a few sites in her "favorites" so she can just "click" on them. Be patient with her -- even though she may not treat you this way -- you're the child she's depending on right now.

I feel soooooo bad for Dan -- and the rest of you of course, but losing a mate -- as you know -- is different -- in the way that no one else is going through the same emotions. You can relate with your brothers/sisters about the loss of a brother/sister -- or parents can relate to the loss of a child -- kids to a parent -- but a spouse is all alone with that feeling -- there was only one spouse -- you share every aspect of your life with your spouse -- and it leaves such an emptiness when one leaves and one stays behind.

You're so right about the training going out the window sometimes -- but I think you did exactly what you should have -- you were there and you made him feel comfortable and he was able to just "share" for a little bit that day -- I'm sure you were a great comfort for him.

and hopefully -- with you thinking about your mom and Dan -- and knowing you're "doing something" it will help ease your pain a little too

(((((((((( hugs ))))))))))