"....So please don't say or imply to anyone, ever, that they don't understand. That's like the statement of a teenagers who thinks their parents have never been young. I may not know what it feels like exactly for you in your circumstances. But I know loss - the kind that strips away all hope...."

Thank you, Vi. Your understanding of bottomless unending loss is very much appreciated....There are no word-instruments sharp enough to cauterize the bleeding of my heart as I grieve the loss of my beloved sisters Ellie & Ronnie....Losing my brother and both parents was expected to some degree, although at 59, mom's premature passing in 1981 was still a shock. But losing my best-friend & sister Ellie in 1998 when she was 46 was just not supposed to happen. I clung to my slightly older sister Ronnie all the more for comfort & companionship. When Ronnie suddenly died at age 54 on what would have been Ellie's birthday last year, and she was buried on MY birthday, I lost more than can ever be recovered in this life. Each day I help at least one person feel good about themselves. I know the value of a hug. I do whatever I can to make around me a better place, as God has seen fit to leave me here for some inexplicable reason.....Maybe some future grandson will seek me out to make a difference in his life? Maybe my wonderful husband would "cave" if not for my presence in his life....Who knows why I am still this shell with the hemmorhaging, pulsating heart, waiting for peace. Waiting for a blessed re-union with those who knew me best over the decades....Hopeless. Yes. Now THERE's a word.