Danita, I think I've decided that, in my experience, there are two kinds of "normal": there's a pre-loss normal and then there's a post-loss normal, and ne'er the twain shall meet! Once you've lost a loved one, there's no going back to that old normal. You just struggle through the terrible grief (while everyone around you has moved on into whatever their "normal" is) and somehow, despite all your instincts to just pull the covers over you head and never come back out, you emerge on the other side into a new normal. Life will never ever be the same, everything's been changed against our will, our pre-loss futures are stolen, horizons have moved - and yet, somehow, living with the holes - and the unfairness - becomes normal.

My hope comes from believing that they are still part of us, still watching over us, cheering us onward and upward - and will be waiting for us when it's our time.

Danita, I carry you in my heart...