Would someone please tell me why? When a celebrity gets cancer, such as Sheryl Crow and Christina Appelgate, the world goes crazy. It's OMG can you believe SHEEE has breast cancer? And when Christina Applegate has bilateral mastectomies as I did, Oprah is all over the topic, with Christina as featured guest. And they get to do PSAs and be spokespersons. And how AWESOME shee is for surviving cancer. And letting the world know. When I had breast cancer, the last thing I wanted was for a celebrity to suggest how I should handle it. Give me an honest to God peer with real world experiences. What do celebrities know of insurance costs, insurance decisions. Do you think a celebrity even notices when ONE SHOT cost 1,000 dollars? They don;t know they have accountants. And what about working chemo and reconstructive surgeries into the work/child balance, WITHOUT a nanny, nutritionist, nurse, driver and chef? I don't know why I resent this, but I do. I am a 5 year survivor. I am the one who sent (handmade) cards on this anniversary to everyone who meant something to me during and after the entire ordeal, and cancer was an ordeal second only to being the victim of child sexual abuse. I am the one who bought myself flowers and candy on the fifth anniversary of my first chemo. I had ONE year of chemo treatments and FIVE surgeries to my chest. And numerous injections for bone loss, iron loss, protein loss, not to mention loss of hair, loss of balance, loss of clarity (chemo brain) loss of weight (105 pounds) Loss of my husband's job because he had to care for me....Loss of house because we had to move to get him a new job...Loss of my already accepted MSW grad program because I lost ability to STUDY, loss of the BREASTS. criminy. Why do we need research for a cure? Because amputation of the breasts is NOT A CURE. it is barbaric. And my mother had her breast removed, and she is DYING of breast cancer anyway. I worked so hard to stay alive and I did and so what? So What? I don't even know why I fought so hard. I had said years ago
when my mother got cancer that if I ever got cancer I would NOT go through crap to fight it. And my husband said it was not all about me, he had a say in it too, so please fight. And I bought that and fought. Does anyone have any words that may help me reframe this frame of mind? Help please I am sick, sick, sick of IT. It, the whole cancer absurdities, public celebrities and private citizens, believe me, cancer is cancer, but those who have resources have a different experience than those who did not. I was in the hospital from Thanksgiving through Christmas in a noisy, uncomfortable, semi-private room in oncology with inept personal care attendants. The PCAs? It was like they were born yesterday. My husband wrapped me better than the PCAs. The PCA showed their shock at the sight of my RUINED chest. Plus, I almost DIED from morphine, couldn't swallow, couldn't breathe, couldn't reach for the buzzer, and where were the nurses? Eating Christmas cookies. The celebrities probably go to a private spa setting for recovery from chemo, and, wear their own designer nightgowns instead of the crap hospital gown and have a 24 7 attendant. I know this is More than a whine with grace, this is my tirade. I 1) don;t see why I had to go through that on top of everything else 2) dont know why I even bothered. What for? Who cares? Why bother? WHY???? pEOPLE Act like it's no big deal... oh Lynn got through it, let's forget about it. I'll tell you, my body never forgets. Healing? Yeah right there is always always always the nagging notion of my mother is dying. From breast cancer.