Kate, I'm grateful she feels close enough to you to ask. That's great that a niece will come to you for advice. You were wise to point out that we are often the ones who need to change. However, unless he's abusing her. That's another story.

The comments about hearing the ins and outs of loved ones relationships is so true. Mom told us years ago not to air our dirty laundry because while angry, you can say some very hurtful things about a loved one. You may mean it for the moment, others read into it, think the worse, and then life resumes as normal. It wasn't all that bad. You were just angry and sharing the absolute worst thoughts and feelings.

My daughter called to tell me she and her beau broke up this week. I have to be very careful about what I say about him because it's very likely they will end up back together. Holding my tongue is so very hard.