Thanks for all your feedback. Chatty, you are absolutely right. He has always been a selfish man. I do believe the reason he is being so nice is for exactly what you said. He doesn't want to lose the house, etc. You are also right about "another woman". However, I surmise it has been his mother and sister who "coached" him into manipulating his way back into the house after our original separation. (although, I can't rule out another woman, as I've suspected there might be. But, as he has said himself, I can't prove it) Being his sister is divorced, she would know that not having any young children at home, there would be no legal reason for me to stay here. What my husband doesn't know is that I will be letting him stay in the house. I will be moving out.


This leads me to you, Edelweiss...

First of all, I want to say how happy I am that things worked out after you left your husband. The two of you obviously love each other enough to work at your marriage. Mine is a different case.....Our separation did indeed change him. He does go out of his way to be nice to me, but I need more. As Di said, it's the emotional side of it for me that's lacking. Having had 20 years of both controlling behaviour and neglect, I don't feel the same for him. So, he may be able to turn on his "switch" and become very nice, I can't start loving him again at the drop of a hat. His gestures all seem very superficial.

I know I have to be the one to make the move, and I realize I keep putting it off by waiting for the right time. But it's important for me to be in the right frame of mind. If I so much as shed one tear, I put myself in a vulnerable situation and he will grab the opportunity to try and change my mind. When I think of it, it's ridiculous to be afraid to talk with your own husband, and I know it's my insecurity that is making me feel this way, but I need to prepare myself. Again, ridiculous for an almost 55 year old woman!

By the way, I loved the story about those 8 friends who all divorced their husbands. The ones you mentioned certainly sound as if they made the right move. Now, if the majority of men are in their own little world,(there has to be some out there who know what is going on with their wives) why do they get married at all?