Zee, welcome to BWS. I'm sure others will jump in.

I don't have steps, but when I have to deal with people I'm not crazy about, I try my darndest to focus on thier positive attributes. Is ther a way for you to do that with his kids? Sounds hokey, but it works when I can remember to do it.

Have you spoken about what your husband's desires are with the upcoming graduations? If not, you might wnat to ask how he wants you to be involved.
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Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
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