Expat, it's normal to go through a grieving process when any kind of relationship ends. When I divorced, I was very depressed for a while and felt guilty as if it was my fault the marriage ended (we had been married almost 25 years). Allow yourself time to feel sad, guilty, whatever, but tell yourself you will only allow that for a specific amount of time - for example, I will let myself feel bad today, or until lunch, or until 6pm tonight, or whatever feels manageable to you. Those feelings won't go away all at once, it's a gradual process, and you may have to have pity-pot parties daily for a while. But once you emerge back into the daylight, it's a wonderful feeling! And the grieving process is different for each person, so don't compare your progress to someone else's. And remember we are all here for you.