Eagle, I was thinking of doing this same thing. It seems the only way I will be able to do this is have something inanimate (the Printed ticket/flight Itinerary) in my hand to “seal the deal”. I don’t know why, but I have always wanted to go to New Mexico and now I have the opportunity.

Okay, here is another scenario and what I plan on doing about it. Please let me know what you would do. Here is the scenario, I just mentioned this trip on Thanksgiving Day to my aunt. One of her daughter’s, Renee (my cousin), lives in Utah. Here is what she says to me right away, “Oh, you should try to go and see Renee in Utah since you will be close.” I answered, “That would be a possibility”, then later on I was upset she put me in that position. My aunt will be upset if I do not go and see Renee. Don’t get me wrong, I love my cousin, but this is a trip I want to take and relax, catch up with my friend and do some sightseeing! I plan on not mentioning this trip to her again, but if she ever mentions it, I will have to tell her what I just said here. If she gets offended, I will have to tell her this isn’t about her, then excuse myself. Would this be a way to set boundaries? I know it’s absurd I am even asking this, but this has always been my weakness, I just do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Plus, I am so tired of arguing and having to defend myself constantly.

Anno, I appreciate you taking the time with me. I hadn’t even thought of a schedule for calls. This is a very good idea!

Dianne, it’s the same with me as far as my daughter is concerned. I have to pull away; I no longer have the resources because she has sapped it out of me with her crisis. Mine hasn’t appreciated it either and I am working with a debt counselor because of the debt this has gotten me into.

Anne, you hit the nail on the head. I just want it to stop!

I appreciate everyone sharing their experience with me and giving me many great suggestions. This is why I posted this, I needed guidance in what steps to take and figure out where I am going wrong. I in no way wanted to post this as a “poor me baby”. Thanks ladies for not reacting as if I was being a “poor me baby”.

I love you all a lot!

Cathi