I like that advice to take steps toward your vacation. Maybe once you do that, some other goals will spring forward, which you'll be able to deal with, one day at a time.
Like you, I'm a classic enabler and attract people who are unbelievably needy. I remember Dr Phil asking one such person, "How's that working for you? What are YOU getting out of doing so much for others and not making any time for yourself?"
I realized that after so much loss (see multiple-loss-thread), I needed to feel that I still mattered, that I could make a difference, that I could still feel alive on some level.
With professional help, I learned that I can matter to me and that is not a selfish way to be. I can be kind to myself, and have a life making me smile.
Every day is not perfect. But I know that if I live to see tomorrow, it just may be better. And that is what I wish for you. Many more better tomorrows.
Here are some links I found on Google for setting boundaries, if you feel like sorting through some: