Allison Bottke wrote the book, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children.

http://www.settingboundaries.com/

This may help with your daughter, and I think you can use soem of the actics in any relationship. I hope this helps.
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Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com