Dotsie, I appreciate the link. You would not believe how difficult it is to find a book on this subject. I read one a long time ago; I think it was titled “Boundaries”. I remember it left me a little confused; it just wasn’t straight to the point enough for me. I will look into this one after Christmas. I did find a book with a journal by Lisa Hammond titled, “Permission to Dream Journal”. Which is part of what I am struggling with. It’s in a workbook format, and I find this setting to be useful when trying to make changes.

Your Majesty, I am so happy you posted, truly it is appreciated. I think OVERWHELMNESS should be a word if it isn’t already.

I definitely have been taken advantage of and I know Sofia knows I love her unconditionally. But it still does not give her the right to abuse me either.

I am feeling much better since I posted this and well, I didn’t want to at first because I hate being a downer and I didn’t want anyone to think I was just wining.

You said:


I am actually flattered you said this. But this gives me an opportunity to further explain my dilemma. I know if you were to turn to me, you would not do the following:

Demand I do something.
Manipulate me and put me on a guilt trip
Chew me out and cuss me out if I was unable to help due to circumstances beyond my control.
Or…
Chew me out and cuss me out if I did everything I possibly could, and in spite of that, I wasn’t able to help you.

The only person who doesn’t ask much from me nor abuse me is Richard. Mind you, he did for many years, until I left him 6 years ago. He was just stunned that I actually took action on that part. After 8 months, he was in tears apologizing to me and telling me how he realized he took me for granted for so long. I hated the fact it came to that and I had every intention of divorce. But I wanted to give him another chance, especially since he was telling me what I longed to hear. By his admission, I didn’t feel like I was losing my mind.

I took a step today, and I shut off my cell phone while I was at work. I am not allowed to talk on my cell at my desk, so I would have it on vibrate and then go to the break room or outside to talk. For the most part it’s someone’s drama and I end up getting riled up, totally distracting me from what I am suppose to do. It was nice today, and the only person who has my work number is Richard and it is to be used only for a dire emergency.

Thanks everyone for your input. Now I have to work on when I will make this New Mexico trip. I am thinking somewhere between March thru May. I have to check with my friend and see when it is a good time for her as well. But the minute I have a solid date, I am on southwest.com booking the flight!!!

Again, I am so glad I posted this. It’s so wonderful to have the guidance.

I love you all a lot!

Cheers,
Cathi