I have just now read this thread. And I too want to tell you that you are so not alone.

I believe most women are kind hearted by nature, but the plight of many of these women is to be used and to be taken advantage of. I can join you in this tune. What Eagle said about setting boundaries truly rung a bell with me as well. Eagle, your post opened my eyes in an encouraging motivating way.

Josie what a great link you posted. I bookmarked it.

So much good advice here. My situation is a little different. I hope I’m not hijacking this thread, with my additional question. Let me give you an example.

Yesterday my husband, my son and my granddaughter went to the Christmas market. My son dressed my granddaughter too lightly. I said, it’s the cold night air, and I think she should wear her snowsuit. My son’s reaction, “Mom, I know what I’m doing, I’m the father, and you keep out of it.” We all went to the market, and poor “A” was trembling from the cold. I took off my scarf and wrapped it around her neck. My son was furious at me, and in the middle of the market scolded me for doing too much. I couldn’t believe his reaction. Yes, he’s going through a separation, but he can’t seem to turn off his anger at any woman. I held my granddaughter’s ice cold hand, and told my son if he had any father sense, he would take his daughter, and put her in the warm car, and head for home before she turns blue. His reaction? He tore “A”s hand from mine, gave me a look that would kill, and left in a cloud of anger.

Now this isn’t the end of it. I was so upsete by my son’s behaviour. I wanted to discuss it with my husband, when suddenly my husband turned on me and said, “ Stop whining! It’s your fault! You know how he is. Just don’t say anything to him. I’m sick of your bitching!”

It was like one blow on top of the other. I can’t believe how hostile both of these men were to me. And when I tried to explain to my husband what I needed to hear from him…all I heard was “ but but but…..” He doesn’t get it. And he never will. So here I sit, haven’t talked to him all day. In a couple of days my brother is coming, and once again, I have to pull my act together, for my brother’s sake, and pretend everything is fine at the home front. Hah.

I wish I could go with you to New Mexico, Cathie.