Songbird, I so agree it takes two people to save the marriage. He didn't want to try, I tried for 4-1/2 years to fix everything I thought was wrong. Then I just stopped and shut down and did nothing, moved into the spare room and lived like roommates. Then I made a plan and filed for divorce. I'm so much happier now, no more mind games, or him being drunk, I'm so lucky to have what I've got. I'm going to be just fine, and I'm alot stronger than I ever thought. I will never marry again. I'm not even interested in men, I got a cat!! I hope to start work in the next few months & then everything will fall into place. I just can't believe what some women think you should do to keep a man! Guilt can be a awful thing. I'm so happy now. I'm free really free for the first time in years. Thank you for your support. Bless your heart.