Two nights ago, our granddaughter called and invited us to come to Daddy’s house to barbeque. This was at 8:00 pm, and it’s an hours drive to their place. I asked to speak to “A’s” daddy.
This is how the conversation went:
“Do you really want us to come this late?”
His reply: “"A" wants it.”
“And you? Do you want us to come?”
“I can deal with it.”
(Mind you, we had eaten, and were ready to call it a day.)
I repeated, “You can deal with it?” (in a sad tone, not whining)
Then I said, “sorry but we have already eaten and it’s too late to drive out. By the time we get there “A” will be ready for bed.”
( By the way,… I think this is the first time I ever said no to him.)
I then heard him say to his daughter, “Your grandparents aren’t coming,” and he hung up.

I understand DD that there are usually two sides to a story. And the sad thing about having an estranged child is that most people ask; what have the parents done to cause this. But in my case, Dee’s and Chatty’s there are no valid reasons to be treated as such. I can say with a clear conscience that my husband nor I have done anything to provoke or anger our son. Just the opposite; we have spoiled him and have helped him out of countless situations.

In your case, with your Mom, there seems to be a lot of hard feelings that go way back when. My parents were terribly strict too, But they were brought up that way, and knew no other way of disciplining. I truly believe most parents do the best they can. Expectations usually run too high on both sides, and I am, by far, no exception. ( … so when will you send me the locks to braid?)

Dee and Chatty, if this guilt trip method doesn’t bring our son back, I will let go. I’m just at the beginning stage here, and I guess it’s normal to try everything.

Orchid, I bet your parents were delighted that you stayed at their house. Just being there and showing you care, is the biggest present you can give your parents.