Eagle,
Sorry about your prognosis. I'm confident everyone here will join me in praying for your speedy recovery. I'll bet rumination torments every human mind. If we could just push a button and turn off the negative thoughts, we'd all be a lot better off.
Blessings dear lady!
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https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke
https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf