That's pretty much how I felt most of my life too. Now they're all gone and there's not even the hope of any of them caring. One reality that I had to come face to face with, and continue to struggle with, is that eventually - no, NOW - it's up to me and me alone to provide myself with what I need that others fail or refuse to give me. That's a huge "ouch" point for me, because I have a lot of rips in the fabric of my life that need mending, a lot of questions about worth and purpose that I need answers to...ultimately, it's up to me to decide what I'm worth and what my purpose is. Nobody else has those answers for me, and the people that I think should be helping, aren't helping. So I either give up, or do it myself. Very difficult to affirm oneself. I don't even know if it's entirely possible. But it IS possible for me to declare my worth and decide that my life IS worth living and that I get to decide how to live it.

It's not easy, still a day-to-day challenge, but I no longer choose the alternative. I want to live, and with or without them, I WILL live!