I was very fortunate, my husband loved both my mother and my brother as if they were his own, and took such wonderful care of both of them through their respective illnesses. When Mom died, hubby felt as if he had lost his own mother all over again. And when my brother died, he was in tears for days afterward, and still misses both of them as much as I do.

Perhaps that has helped me to forgive him for the various stupid things he’s done over the course of our marriage. Just when I think he’s crossed my threshold, I feel my love for him sneaking out from behind my anger and resentment. He does love me, he just doesn’t always show it the way I need him to. I’ve had to change my perception of what love looks like.

Edelweiss, you're in so much pain right now. One thing I know for sure is that we should never make life-changing decisions from with the chaos and intense sadness of grief. I understand your heartache, but I would strongly urge you to allow yourself more time before making any hasty decision that cannot be undone later...get yourself further down the road and see where your heart and mind are then.

Sending you love, healing, peace and blessing - and hugs!!!