Personally, I think striving for these qualities gives them to us. There are people who meet adversity with grace and there are those who meet adversity with a 'why me?' attitude. We are basically who we believe we are; and if we don't like what we believe about ourselves, we can change it if we want to change it. We grow into the people we focus on becoming; if we see ourselves as victims we have that mentality; if we see ourselves as powerful and strong, we are. I'm not saying that these things happen overnight, but I for one went from being a doormat to an independent, compassionate, loving human being who isn't afraid to speak out. I have also learned that if I am comfortable with who I am, it doesn't matter what other people think of me, and it doesn't matter if they disagree with me, and it doesn't matter if they belittle me or verbally attack me, because I am me and I will only change who I am if I think I need to change.