Hi AlexaVega,

Welcome to our forum, we're delighted you have visited and hope you will become a regular.

I married the first time at 21 and still in college. It was 1973 and the height of the free love era.

I think I knew it was a mistake at the time, but I wanted to live with that man, and I knew my parents would never allow it unless we were married. My father had once told me that if I EVER didn't come home at night, I didn't need to come home ever again.

So we decided to get married to make our parents happy.

The first inkling I had that it was a mistake was at the alter. The minister was going through the vows, and he said the phrase "til death do you part." I stood there and my brain was whirling. It went something like this: "'Til death. Damn, that's a long time... I don't think I can agree to that.

BUT there are 200 people behind me here in the church, who have given us presents, and who have come to the wedding. If I back out now, it will be so embarrassing.

Yeah. But TIL DEATH. All I really want to do is LIVE with him.


So on the spot I made a secret pact with myself that I would mentally modify the vows to "as long as it's good."

Ten years and two kids later, I was still good with it, but I found out he was cheating on me, and we went to counseling.

I told him that I could forgive him and we could stay married if he would agree to give up his lover and not cheat again. He told me he could not do that.

So there was no choice, but to divorce.

Five years later, on the verge of turning 36, I married again. That was the correct decision, and Steve and I have been happily married for 22 years now. He adopted my kids after their birth father died, and things are "all good" now.

I really think we are too young in our 20s to marry for life. BUT our hormones sure are raging at that time...
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