My abusive ex-husband died on July 3, 2011.

I am informed and believe that in December 2010 he purchased a Smith & Wesson Model 10-6 4 inch barrel factory nickel finish Serial number 2D68XXX -- he posted such on the internet.

According to the obit, he died "unexpectedly" and "At his request, there will be no calling hours."

I can't help but wonder if he committed suicide. My sister thinks it may have been AIDS and for me to get tested.

In any event, I feel no remorse. He physically and emotionally tormented me for 15+ years. I will always have a scar from his abuse.

I also admit that I was a bit jeoulous of his passing b/c I immediately thought -- hey, he's made it to Heaven before me! How dare he!

May God forgive me for my ill feelings, I'd like to think that He knows my pain.