I don't have an answer for you, jabber. I just know that over the years, I have become much more positive in my outlook and have stopped wondering 'why me' when things go wrong. I am grateful for every day I have in this life and for all the people in it. I also look at the positive side of 'bad' things because I truly believe that focusing on the negative attracts more negatives while focusing on the positive attracts more positives. This was a difficult concept for me to master, but for me the trick was to stop hoping bad things don't happen, because that is a negative focus. Instead, I visualize only the good things. There are still times when I find myself saying 'I don't want' whatever and I have to stop myself and change the focus to what I DO want.

I don't know if this makes sense to you, jabber. I know it isn't something I was able to grasp right away.