A grieving widow was discussing her late husband with a friend. "My Albert was such a good man, and I miss him so. He provided well for me with that fifty-thousand-dollar insurance policy--but I would give a thousand of it just to have him back."

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"These yuppies are really getting to me," a man complained to his friend. "Have you seen the new funeral home in New York? It's called 'Death 'n' Things."

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From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad."

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