A tightwad was convinced by a friend to buy a couple of tickets in the state lottery. But after he won the big prize, he didn't seem happy. "What's wrong?" the friend asked. "You just became a millionaire!"
"I know," he groaned. "But I can't imagine why I bought that second ticket!"
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Selling at an action was halted when the auctioneer announced, "Someone in the room has just lost his wallet containing $1,000.
He is offering a reward of $250. for its immediate return." After a moment of silence, there was a call from the back of the room, "$255."
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"Was Grandpa mad when they went through his luggage at the border?"
"Not in the least. They found his glasses that he'd lost two weeks earlier."