Sometimes children don't help out because they don't know where to start. Like you said, they don't "see" what is wrong w/the picture. Training early is a great way to start them on the right track. Remember that they need to learn "how" as much as they need to learn "what". Many an argument has started in our house with "Why should I do it, you're just gonna do it over anyway" . . . We need to teach them how to do it right the first time.

As for not tending to ourselves. . . that's a problem. If we don't put ourselves first, no one else will. If we don't get a break, everyone suffers. Like you said, If mom's cranky with an attitude, so is everyone else. So, if you follow that logic, if mom is relaxed and feeling good, so should everyone else. Remember, you're doing it for them as much as you're doing it for yourself.