Thanks for that website....I'll definitely look into it--didn't know where to go. Am feeling like I would like to talk a bit and "connect" now, so thanks. My dad would pin me down on floor (always when mom was gone), telling bros to hold arms down (pulled up over my head) while he held legs down by sitting on them I think, and he would tickle me in armpit and up and down along ribcage for seemingly minutes (while he laughed) while I tried my hardest to get away and scream. Very difficult to do when being tickled. (my 3 bros were never mean to me--only at insistence of dad would they do this--they'd get their own abuse in other ways, hitting or whatever). At home here with kids I cannot even STAND when hubby will just playfully tickle kids. I will freak out and break it up immediately. (but not if they are not being held against will and I can see they can easily roll away from it) Or when someone tries to do it to me now. I get superhuman strength to stop it. Anyway, folks divorced when I was 10 or 11 and that ended. Loving dad in every other way though. So have been confused by it. (but just finding out relationship he had with mom and a bro--not good--made me want to delve). I truly think that physical pain would be better to have.