I have considered myself a spiritual person for a long time. I've been leery of declaring myself a Christian because of some of the Christians I've been exposed to and how much they frighten me. But because my life hasn't been working out very well by avoiding the religion I was raised with and am most drawn to, and you can't judge a group by a number (no matter how large the number is) of bad apples, I decided to give my all to study and prayer and see if God can work some things out in my life that I haven't been doing very well with on my own.

So I read a book daily called "Meet the Bible" that puts the bible into 366 daily readings and reflections (much easier for me to understand). I've read "The Purpose Driven Life" and got some good things out of it, although I still haven't a clue what spiritual gift or abilities I might have and I'm still trying to find a church to belong to (which the book focuses on a lot).

I recently e-mailed the minister at a church I'd like to join and told her how much I like the church but I didn't want to join only to end up feeling unwelcome because I have a gay son that I can be pretty vocal about defending. I told her I'd read "The Purpose Driven Life" and the author said we should be honest about who we are in order to build good relationships. That was 3 days ago and I haven't heard back.

Right now I'm reading "If You Want to Walk On Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat" by John Ortberg. He's a little more humorous than Rick Warren and I'm really enjoying his book and trying to get over my fears and trust God with the things that I can't seem to do on my own.

I've gone on a lot of God Quests before but this one seems to be different. This time I actually feel like God is working in my life to help me with some things I'm struggling with. I'm not sure what I've done different this time, maybe I've just approached with more faith and thanked God for answering my prayers whether I felt like he had or not.

As far as prayer time, God is constantly on my mind lately so I pray a lot as I go though the day. I also apologize a lot, like when I swear at the idiot (I mean gentleman) driving in front of me or get impatient and want to snap off the head of someone at work.

Sorry that I've rambled so.