It's been almost 2weeks since I had to have my husband involuntarily committed. He still doesn't think he is ill & blames me solely for putting & keeping him there. Although I was approached by law enforcement & given the choice of jail or hospital. (It was justified.)

We are new to this. He has never been diagnosed with mental illness before. That's not to say he didn't exhibit signs & symptoms in the past. I love him very much & I want to stay by his side. At first he was justifiably angry, sad & confused. It was our anniversary 2 days following his placement & this did not help. His anger towards me got better but his delusions of grandeur remained the same. He was still intent that he was going to save the world.

Today I, then we, had a meeting with his social worker & nurse practitioner. He thinks I prevented him form being able to leave in two days. So now he again wants a divorce & doesn't want to see me. To top it off, I have to testify on Thursday as to his behavior leading to his commitment. And, he will be present. I worry this will be the nail in our coffin. When he is released, how will he ever forgive me? I know I have to do this for his safety & well being but..... I feel so guilty. He is my soul mate & I love him so much. I find myself questioning if he should be there or if he really does has an illness.(although family, friends & professionals agree he does)

We live 1600 miles away from our families & friends. I have made some great new friends where we live & they along with our families have been very supportive. But I still feel alone. But, I don't want to be around anyone either. I prefer to be alone, at home with the dogs. I am lost. I have been reading & researching bipolar (dx they are leaning towards.) & I'm going to my 1st support group tomorrow. But in all I've read, I have yet to find a source to help families deal with the newly diagnosed. Must less, a source for new families of a pt. that doesn't believe they are ill.

I guess I'm looking for someone who is, has, or had this experience. I'm sure all can remember when their unwilling family member was first diagnosed. I guess not many have written about it. I just need to hear something, anything. I am dreading court. I don't want to loose alienate my husband. My heart is breaking.

[ June 07, 2006, 04:16 AM: Message edited by: swimette ]