Mary,
I'm answering this post NOT because I have answers, because I don't. But to say that I hope you will change your own perspective of your situation.

Start by taking the word failure completely out of your vocabulary, please! If going thru a divorce, or even maybe going thru one, is failure, then you would have to line up more than half of the world's population.

If you believe in God, and I think you have said you do, then please get your Bible out and just open it for comfort. Just read.

Sometimes I think we go to our friends looking for answers when there are none. I do agree with you that looking out for the material aspect of a tentative divorce is premature somewhat, but not entirely. And I think she was only thinking of your welfare. I know it wasn't what you were wanting to discuss, but she knew her time was limited for discussion and wanted to offer the best she could I'm sure.

Ultimately, all decisions rest with you and your husband. If getting back together with him is all you want, and hunger for, then don't give up. Pray for guidance, take proactive steps, and this goes without saying, but be upfront and completely honest with him. YOU BOTH deserve no less.

I hope this helps somewhat. It was posted in love, I hope you know this.

JJ