Don't worry about ranting...it's exactly what you need to do - let it all out. Of course you have a lot of pent up emotion - look at all you have dealt with all these years. It's a difficult time after you've lost a parent that you've had to care for so intensely because it truly is hard to think of their passing as "the best thing" - it's your PARENT after all. On top of dementia issues you had to deal with their other health issues, including heart attack and cancer - WAY more than most people can even fathom. I my mother's case, she had few other health issues than the Alzheimers.

I don't have children but I do understand how hard it must be to imagine THEM having to take care of YOU some day...in my case, with no kids or other family who might step in, my husband and I have tried to address that possibility proactively. We have long-term care insurance and a "plan" for assisted living or nursing home care if - and/or when - it is needed.

I can remember WAY WAY back when I was in my 20s that aging and the associated problems just seemed like something I'd never have to address - AHHHH the naivite' of youth!! Well, now that I'm in my late 50s that "time" is fast approaching and having gone through losing both parents - particularly my Mom through Alzheimers - is certainly bringing it "close to home"......

Elder care is a serious issue - and now that some of us Boomers are knocking on the door to our later years, there's a WHOLE lot of us who are asking "so what's going to happen to me??"