This is so funny. Chatty, you could make up a Tour Guide for Relatives bill form and charge them for your time. Mention the cost of the meal and put in that amount. I have a feeling these people won't be coming to visit again. If they do, they're brainless.

Oh...if I come to Vegas, will you take me to lunch and pick up the tab? Sounds like a real bargain to me! I need friends like you! But...I do get out that way on occassion and would take you to lunch. It would be a blast and no, Sammie can't come along!