I'm really sorry for your pain. I was married to a cheater.

I don't think you did anything wrong by checking up on him. It sounds like he knows you're going to check emails and has changed his form of communication and if you really want to know what is going on, don't tell him where or what you're checking. I could never keep my big mouth shut long enough to spy!

I think a good counselor can help you a lot but the problem is, who is going to help your husband to commit to a marriage? Does he want this to work? Will he stop? How would he feel if you stayed in touch with men from your past, friends or boyfriends? Would it bother him if you talked sex with another man? I'm thinking it would and if it didn't, you have a husband who will probably never take your marriage seriously.

If it were me, I would set down a hard and fast rule, if it happens again, it's over. You know, a good divorce attorney will ask for the IP address on a computer and track all comings and goings. Even if the history has been deleted. You might consider tracking for future use.

Again, I'm just so sorry for this.