I have a real problem with this type of thing. I have been on my own for 10 years but would not like it if my husband looked at porn on a regular basis. I think some men just look out of curiousity but to others it becomes a drug. My parents are 79 and 80. They have been married for 53 years. My mom is a control freak and always has been. My Dad has let her get away with it...until now. He is in a wheel chair with only one leg and doesn't get out much. So... I gave him a computer last year. He didn't use it much and my Mom loved sending emails. She tried to get my Dad interested in using the computer too but he just ignored it. Until a friend got him to look at some porn. Now he spends hours looking at it. My Mom is horrified. They have not had a sex life since they were in their fourties. I don't like them talking to me about this type of thing but they seem to need to. My Mom tells me that it's my Dad's fault, that he lost interest, and he tells me the exact opposite story. Anyway she is confiding in me and asking me what she should do. She wants to cut off the Internet. I find it all very uncomforable and wish they would talk to someone else about it but my Mom likes to keep up appearances and act like they have a perfect marriage. I think my Dad has found something to get back at her as he says he has finally had it with the control issue. She sneaks up on him when he is watching TV to see what he is watching, it's really pathetic. She is at him constantly...what are you doing in the fridge, what are you watching on TV, who was that on the phone etc. She refuses to associate with his friends and wants to control him like a little kid. She dislikes anyone he likes, won't let them come to the house etc. She puts out his clothes, cuts his hair. It drives me crazy because she is always complaining about him to me and I feel really caught in the middle.
Any suggestions as to how I can handle this porn thing. I told her that she can't cut of the Internet as he would just get it back on and that she can't really take away his rights as he is not a kid. I cut it off at my house because my eldest son was always on the porn sites so she thinks that she can do that to my Dad. On one hand I can understand as he is home alone all day and can't go anywhere and is bored, probably sexually frustrated to boot, but it also bugs me that he is looking at porn. So now she is doing the no talking routine which she always does when she is mad at him, which is often. She is so disgusted with him that it makes her sick and says she has lost all respect for him. I can also understand her point of view to. I just tell her to go out, be with friends and get a life as they don't really do anything together anyway.
I just wondered what others thought about this.
Kate