Kate, I believe in setting boundaries in relationships. There was once a topic in our family on which Mom and I totally disagreed. One day I got up my nerve and told her that we obviously disagreed, and the issue was getting in the way of our relationship. I asked if we could please not talk about it any more because when we did, we got nowhere except upset with one another. It felt awkward because I knew she needed to talk about it, but we dropped it. I felt selfish, but it worked. We had other, more pleasant things to talk about that didn't divide us.

I'm sure it will be hard for you to set boundaries at this point, but it might be worth a try. Also, you are wise to tell her to get a life. She needs to have soemthing else to focus on.

The porn issue repulses me. Sorry. This may sound odd, but you gave them the computer right? can you say you need it back? Nevermind, I think that's probably notht e thing to do.

I just offered up prayers for you and your parent's relationship. I am sorry you have to deal with this day in and day out.