What wonderfully honest women there are here. Very interesting and very uplifting to read the posts.

re: "Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity". I am not sure if I do believe that watching pornography amounts to infidelity. Porn is not physically having sex with another person. But is does take precious time away from a mate.

I do believe that porn can be unhealthy mentally, and will in time damage a loving relationship. I also think that one can become very addicted to porn. Porn is not just looking at women (or men) who are nude. There is lots of sexual action going on, most have a partner or several and are performing sex acts. We must be realistic and understand that men watching these movies are not sitting there with "idle hands". I would certainly hate to find out that any man I was in love with or simply dating would spend time on the computer looking for porn or going to pornographic movies.

A friend once tried to convince me to watch a porno film with him, he said it was an art film. (yeh right! smiling). I said no, but he left it at my house. I was tempted enough to take a look. Not pretty! Lots of noises and groans. Boring!! I feel asleep almost immediately; I awakened much later they were still groaning. At first I could not figure out the sounds. When I did, my first thought was "Oh Lord, what if I had died, this is how my loved ones would have found me." A very sobering thought. I had a long talk with my friend as to the how's and why's of watching such a "stupid" thing and he told that men sometimes *need* more excitement than women. I do not believe that is true. I am sure catching my man watching these movies would make me feel violated and hurt my feelings. A man doing this must know that if found out, his wife will be hurt by his actions, so you have to ask yourself why would he do it? Probably because he thinks he won't get caught. In that way is is most like infidelity.

Vannie(~.~)